just me

2005-05-06T00:21:00.000+08:00

ive just got a new zen micro from my parents. i love it so much. ive been wanting it for months and now ive finally gotten it.
not so great... shes going to thailand for the next 4 days. im gonna miss her pretty badly man. oh well, at least ive got the zen micro to keep me company while shes gone.. :)

2005-04-29T22:58:00.000+08:00

havent blogged since my guardian passed away.
my volleyball season was over in a blink. i hated sitting there on the bench and not being able to play. i hated it. i hated that i trained so hard for this season and i had to tear my knee ligaments at this stupid time. my team lost 2 and won 1. we got knocked out of the 1st round. what a waste. if only i had played, perhaps we would have fared better. i hated seeing him take over my place when he should be the one watching me play. damn.
my knee is getting better. doc said that i can start playing again. hopefully it doesnt give way again. if it happens, i have to go back to see him again and maybe then i will need surgery. hopefully it will be fine. i cant wait to kick some balls again. i really cant.

2005-02-21T23:47:00.000+08:00

The cry of the city like a siren's song
Wailing over the rooftops the whole night long
Saw a shooting star like a diamond in the sky
Must be someone's soul passing by

These are the streets
Where we used to run where your Papa's from
These are the days
Where you become what you become
These are the streets
Where the story's told
The truth unfolds
Darkness settles in

Shine your light down on me
Lift me up so I can see
Shine your light when you're gone
Give me the strength
To carry on, carry on

Don't wanna be a hero
Just an everyday man
Trying to do the job the very best he can
But now it's like living on borrowed time
Out on the rim, over the line

Always tempting fate like a game of chance
Never wanna stick around to the very last dance
Sometimes I stumble and take a hard fall
Lose hold your grip off the wall

Shine your light down on me
Lift me up so I can see
Shine your light when you're gone
Give me the strength to carry on
Carry on

I thought I saw him walking by the side of the road
Maybe trying to find his way home
He's here but not here
He's gone but not gone
Just hope he knows if I get lost

Shine your light down on me
Lift me up so I can see
Shine your light when you're gone
Give me the strength to carry on
Carry on

shine your light - robbie robertson

2005-02-17T00:06:00.000+08:00

you were gone,
before you could attend my graduation.
you were gone,
before you could attend my wedding.
you were gone,
before you could see my new house.
you were gone,
before you could take care of my kids.
i love you and im missing you..
i hope youre happy up there in heaven.
you will always be on my mind..

2005-02-07T10:19:00.000+08:00

okay i havent touched this blog for a long time. but theres really nothing much to blog. really.
oh well, i sprained my ligaments yesterday during a soccer match. some guy came in from the side and i think his knee crashed into the side of my knee, causing my knee to give way. heard a crack in my knee as it gave way. went to alexandra hospital for an xray. luckily i didnt tear any ligaments, if not ill be out of the volleyball season. but im still out for 2 weeks minimum. i wonder how its gonna affect my place in the volleyball team.
school work wise, im currently just trying to keep up with the lessons. not doing more, not doing less, just keeping up. but block test 1 is coming up and i think im not going to do very well for it. i dont know. i think i need to buck up. gonna come up with a timetable or something to help me manage my time much better.

2005-01-11T21:01:00.000+08:00

im tired. very very drained from my school. school is killing me. im lagging in my school work. i know nuts about maths, havent done much physics tutorials. econs is still manageable cause i like it. but it still sucks knowing that im lagging in the first week already. and trainings are making me so damn tired. i have trainings thrice a week, leaving me with hardly any time for my revision or leisure activities. im beginning to hate school. help me.

2005-01-05T20:42:00.000+08:00

if you have noticed my blog entries carefully, you will realise that ive never flamed a person here before. well... its just my belief that if you have something against somebody, you should talk to him and not screw him behind his back. BUT.. sometimes the person just deserves it la. have you ever disliked a person for no apparent reason. you just detest the sound of his name. you just wanna beat him up and say 'there you go. you deserved it'. aye im no angel. i do dislike people. i do dislike people for no apparent reasons too. some of you might know who im talking about. but aiya. like i said im no angel.
its just funny that this is my blog and sometimes i cant write what i really feel here. because of various reasons. there are many many stuffs i wanna write down. some of my deepest darkest thoughts. maybe i should create a private blog for myself. and perhaps just a few very very close friends to read it. but of course i must make sure i dont flame them there. lol. will see...
im not together with her. yes shes in singapore but we are just friends. so please stop wishing me happiness with her in your blog cause theres nothing to wish me happiness about. ya if you didnt know i read your blog, yes i do read your blog. thanks..

2005-01-04T23:27:00.000+08:00

i think theres some damned flu virus going around.
symptoms include flu, fever, sore throat.
ear infection is bound to happen, with various effects. some will experience ear pains, some will experience giddiness.
famous people infected so far : jiaen, veronica and gary neville.
please take care... have a blessed time in school everybody.

2004-12-30T14:04:00.000+08:00

im damn bored these few days. havent been going out because im sick. i hate being sick... i cant even sleep properly at night and i wake up at disgusing times like 8plus or 9am. i wanna go shopping once i get well.
fleshimp got new designs. they look great.. =)

2004-12-26T18:30:00.000+08:00

happy boxing day to all.. this is definitely one of the days i love most in the whole year. why? cause practically every EPL team is playing tonight, meaning you can sit in front of the tv and watch soccer for 6 hrs straight. cant wait.. man u have to win bolton today. if not they can kiss the title byebye...

2004-12-25T19:18:00.000+08:00

christmas is supposed to be a joyous occasion. but yet im not happy.
i know youre hurting. ill be keeping you in my prayers. i hope things will turn for the better in the next few days.. please God.. hear my pleas.

2004-12-24T01:43:00.000+08:00

merry christmas eve. the time has come. its another christmas approaching. its amazing how fast time flies. on this day, i wanna look back on the past year and reflect on what has been the ups and downs in my year 2004.

ups
* passing my promos has to be one of them. though i barely passed, i still made it. its definitely one of the BIG ups.
* getting into top 8 for nationals volleyball A division guys. we were one team that people has wrote off even before the competition. i dont care that people say that top 8 is nothing. we have exceeded expectations. thats all that matters.
* winning the inter house soccer competition. did well enough as a team. was very surprised we went so far in the competition.
* friends and family. clique well with my classmates. they are an incredible bunch of people. and also family wise, we got closer to each other. greatt

downs
* really struggled hard with my studies a few months before promos. was all dejected and on the verge of giving up. that feeling sucks big time.
* drifted away from God. hardly ever waking up on time for church, resulting me in not attending church for straight 2 months. im still working hard on this aspect of my life...
* my common test results. studied hard for it. gave up aussie trip and many more. felt that i should have deserved better than O, O, F with the amount of effort ive put in.

thats my 2004 for you..
here's wishing everybody a very merry christmas eve..
for those who are sad and dejected, cheer up for this day. it only comes once a year..

2004-12-13T19:56:00.000+08:00

came back from malaysia yesterday. here are some of the highlights of annual camp 2004 : the spirit within.
1. i met yujun and marcus, 2 incredibly cute and funny sec1 boys who never failed to crack me up with their antics.
2. driving the all terrain vehicle into a longkang. mixed the accelerator and brakes up. ended up in the longkang.
3. 20mins later, drove into a tree while on the GoKart. i stepped on the accelerator real hard on a turn. ended up crashing through the tyres barrier and into a damned tree.
4. sneaking out when it was time for lights out to get some midnight ice cream. tried to sneak back to our rooms but got caught in the end. the officers were simply too alert.
5. the good food. i struggled to walk after each meal simply cause i was stuffing myself with the food. i hope i gained some extra kilos.
last but not least, how can i forget the feeling of waking up late everyday.
this camp was a blast. thanks to the planning committee. i had a great time..

2004-12-08T21:48:00.000+08:00

the 2004 annual camp will start tomorrow. i cant wait really. i cant wait to spend time with joel, ziyi, chanho and many many other guys. i will be lying to say that im not excited. i havent seen some of the guys in a long time and it will be a good time to catch up and have fun with them too. its sad that george, weijie and josh tan will not be going. oh well.
gotta go pack my bag. byeeeeeeeeeee...

2004-12-07T19:43:00.000+08:00

if only volleyball is as easy as soccer, ill have a much easier time in training...

2004-12-04T11:03:00.000+08:00

kudos to joe payne of luton town. he scored 10 goals in a match against bristol rovers. though that happened in 1936, its still amazing la. i hardly see anyone scoring 10 goals in a court soccer match nowadays. he must be fucking good.

2004-12-02T14:47:00.000+08:00

for your information, roman abramovich (chelsea football club's owner) made a total sum of 2billion pounds last year. the article worked that sum out to a total sum of 3,800 pounds a minute. thats ridiculous. i was desperately looking for a job that paid at least 6 dollars an hour. what the hell. thats hell load of money. if i was him, by the time i finished typing this entry, i would have made 7,600 pounds. cool ass.

2004-12-02T01:50:00.000+08:00

check out nan quan ma ma's(a band) xiang cao ba pu.
im hooked on it.

2004-11-23T13:17:00.000+08:00

stupid hairdresser

me : auntie cut short abit can already. dont thin
auntie : thin nicer la. i help u thin
me : eh dont want. just cut short abit. just a little bit.
auntie : nevermind i help u thin. thinning looks nicer on you

thanks to her. my fin is gone. cant be seen. vanished.
i just hope it grows back in a week.

2004-11-21T23:00:00.000+08:00

saw this cute couple on my way to town yesterday. they were young, about sec1 or 2. they looked so happy. so contented to be with each other. so cute. that led me to think about all my past crushes and 'likes' when i was in pri school or lower sec. how simple things were then. you just liked a person for who he/she is. you didnt have to care about timetables clashing, whether the person will cheat, whether you two are in different schools, whether you two are in different countries with different timezones blah blah. you just liked the person for who he/she is. puppy love. so inoocent, so pure and so fun. yes its not true love. but it doesnt bring u much hurt does it?
how many times have you seen a member of the opposite sex in school somewhere somehow and got attracted to his/her looks. then you start asking around about her. the more you find out, the more you wanna know her. the more you think to yourself, 'hmm he/she could possibly be the one for me.' i certainly have. can name a few right now. but what really matters when you find that someone special? for me, chemistry and mutual attraction. if i have the chemistry with her, i dont care if she still plays barbie dolls at the age for 18. i dont care if she is a counterstrike chick. i dont care if she clubs the whole weekend away. i wont even care if she smokes 20cigs a day and has yellow rotten teeth. i wont even care if she wears platform shoes. ill go for her. but if theres no chemistry, it doesnt matter if she has the longest and most beautiful legs i've ever seen, it doesnt matter if she wears the sexiest tank tops and hipster jeans, it doesnt matter if she has the most beautiful smile i've ever seen. i wont even think of her as a potential girlfriend. chemistry and mutual attraction are the most important things i look for in a girl. screw the 'she must have nice legs' rule. screw the 'she must be cute' rule. screw the 'she must be able to spend time with me' rule. embrace chemistry and mutual attraction.
tell me i make sense in this longest ever entry in this blog's history.
peace out.

2004-11-18T21:16:00.000+08:00

had training today. met the new coach. desmonds leaving and melvin is taking over. melvin seems like a nice guy who connects well with the team. at least he speaks english except for the volleyball terms. which is good. half the time i couldnt understand what desmond was talking about during his tactical talks. lets hope melvin can bring us up another level. he seems good enough..

2004-11-13T22:24:00.000+08:00

just caught the match between arsenal and tottenham. disappointing. tottenham was too calm at the back, leading to 4 mistakes all resulting in goals. just clear the damn ball man. one hell of a match though. final score 5-4 to arsenal.
most probably i wont go back to fullerton. i can only start work on the 26th and i intend to work till just before christmas. which means that ill only work for less than a month. on top of that, they expect us to continue working when school reopens. wish i could but i cant. with all the trainings and studying to do, schedule's really packed. ill just bum around till the holidays end. will go down to bbdc and register for driving lessons. and start studying a little by little.
thanks adel for the heartwarming tag.. it made my morning. =)

2004-11-11T20:42:00.000+08:00

yes ive gotten the job at the fullerton. ill be a waiter at banquets. its gonna be fun and it will help me pay for my shopping trips. how good that is.
my brother has been busy with the planning of the annual camp recently. hes so stressed and upset. it hurts me to see him in such a state. he has to plan for the camp and study for his exams at the same time. it makes me wonder, where are the rest of the officers. where are they? where are they when my brother needed them the most. busy studying for exams? my brother has to study too. so why cant they help. busy with girlfriends? i dont know. all i know is that my brother is doing alot for 33rd and nobody seems to be helping him much. everybody is talking but nobody is acting on their words. as much as i want to help, i cant as im not a senior anymore. at least i dont see myself as one.
its funny how things between me and you have turned out. we cant even hold a proper conversation through msn. we hardly talk and you dont even seem to bother. you are always waiting for me to say hi. even when i do say hi, we stop talking after a few sentences. how sad that is. its sad that we used to be so close and knew everything about each other, and now we are acting like we are complete strangers. the worst thing, you dont even seem to care alot aboout it. do you? i dont think you even noticed it.

2004-11-06T11:05:00.000+08:00

i thank God for dad. for sending me to school everyday.
i thank God for dad. for clearing up after my meals.
i thank God for mum. for washing my dishes after meals.
i thank God for mum. for cleaning zara's cage everytime.
i thank God for bro. for buying lunch for me when im lazy.
i thank God for bro. for paying for me whenever im broke.

i have many people to thank God for. and today i shall start with my family. yes they were there for me through my highs and lows. they are the people that i face everyday each time i get home. they are the people that support me financially, mentally and morally. im glad the family is a happy and closely-knitted one. there are many more reasons i can thank God for them. but i guess the list will never end will it? i really thank God for my family.

2004-10-29T19:08:00.000+08:00

how time flies. just a couple of weeks ago, i was fretting. burying my head into books and studying till late at night. now, im chilling and enjoying my holiday.. ahh well. the year passed so quickly and now im enjoying my december holidays.
went to fish at labrador park on wed night with weiqiang, paul, edric, jason, amanda and edmund. it was fun though we spent more time trying to set up the equipment than actually fishing. rained halfway. kinda spoilt the fun but i still enjoyed myself greatly. bunked at edrics place for the night. the next day went to seoul garden with edric, weiqiang and paul for lunch/dinner. i was really bloated after the whole meal. oh well, it was a good time of just joking around.
a couple of days ago, i read a newspaper article about this boy named marathon. apparently the father of this poor boy is a marathon lover. he said he gave the name to his son cause he loves marathons and that the name is a good conversation starter. i mean, if u love the activity so be it. why torture your son. i can imagine all the teasing the boy will get in school. 'run marathon!!' can u imagine. i cant imagine calling my son soccer goh. or pool goh. or volleyball goh. those are great conversation starters too arent they?

2004-10-23T21:42:00.000+08:00

today was sajc open house. well i woke up late for it and i hardly touched a volleyball. was just walking around looking at the various performances by the various clubs and bands. well i had a good time. the performances were good and entertaining.
you know about how different people have different talents. seeing amanda beat the drums away or edric playing madly on the electric guitar, i felt a sense of admiration. ive always admired those who are able to play music. be it guitarists, drummers, playing triangles or whatsoever. yeah ive always admired them deep down in my heart. cause i dont know how to play a single instrument unless you count the recorder. but im not dying to be like them. i just admire them. admire the way they soak themselves in the music. 'jamming' is not exactly in my vocabulary for recreational activities. not yet anyway..
anyway just watched the epl match between norwich and everton. everton won 3-2. unfair result i must say. norwich derserved something out of the game. ah well.. not everybody gets what they deserves right?

2004-10-20T19:02:00.000+08:00

God does answer prayers. have faith and He will definitely answer prayers. well i prayed to Him about my promotional exams and yes, He answered them. i passed the promotional exams and i can get promoted. although i just scraped through, ill like to thank Him for His blessings. in Him, i can do anything. and that means anything.
now, ill start planning for my holidays. never dared to plan as i was afraid i may not make it and may have to enlist into NS. but now, i can plan. =) my dad wants me to take up driving during the hols. yes i think i will take up driving lessons. heh. you people can look forward to me fetching you guys around. but not that soon though. ill also like to work. perhaps somewhere where its fun and enjoyable. i wont want a boring job. unless the pay is damn good. ill also have to study abit to make sure i do not get all lost playing and forget everything ive learnt.
for now, im looking forward to the fishing trip with weiqiang, edric, paul and edmund. should be next wed. sounds fun. never fished before. unless you count catching those longkang fish with a net. heh should be fun..

2004-10-19T22:37:00.000+08:00

today is the last episode of the 9pm show on channel8. heh.. no more michelle chong. ahh well. she looks good in that show..
got back physics today. got an E for the paper. however, due to my poor results in common tests, it dropped to an O. mixed feelings. my first E in 2 years but yet i still cannot pass the damn subject. what a waste. will be getting back econs essays tomorrow. i need 25/50 to pass econs overall. looks easy but its not. really its not.
speaking about results, i hate it when they say they will give you back all your results on this day and they postpone it again and again. it just keeps the waiting more unbearable. leaving me with more uneasy mornings. life is like that isnt it. things just dont go the way you want it to be. if i had my way, ill just take all the results back in one single day. oh well, life's like that...

2004-10-17T23:34:00.000+08:00

watched the exocist with jason today. it was scary and creepy. though it didnt end properly as it was just a prequel, it managed to capture my interest. however whatever was shown in the show was creepy. i wonder if such things really exist in the world. it seemed so believable. i heard the lead actor read the whole of the Bible just to prepare for his role in the movie. good for him..
ill be getting back my econs essays tomorrow. i need 25/50 to get that A level pass i need so desperately.. hopefully i can secure that A level pass tomorrow. it will be such a beautiful day.

2004-10-13T18:50:00.000+08:00

today is wednesday. tomorrow is thursday. the day i get back my results. the day i can either be over the moon or down in the dumps. i wonder how ill feel tomorrow. im so worried. yes dont worry. dont worry cause He will watch over you and have plans for you already. but i just cant help worrying. well.. guess ill read the Bible later. i guess i need to spend some time wtih Him. some quality time. havent done that for ages and yeah i should. anyway.. i just hope i get promoted. i really wanna go to j2. but it seem so tough.
on a lighter note, ive been crazy over tees lately. been looking at many designs over the net. went to queensway to get one 065 tee today. nice. though its in black. but i like it. weiqiang got a pink tee. cant believe it. omg. well.. i wanna go tee shopping. anyone wanna follow?

2004-10-11T01:27:00.000+08:00

watched two movies in the past three days. to pass some time, ive decided to give a review of the two movies to try and make your mind up on what shows are worth the money and which are not.
white chicks was dumb. to me at least. it wasnt really very funny and the plot is lame. the make up is lame. the faces of the chicks really looked damn fake. they looked like a plastic surgery disaster. the jokes arent really funny. couldnt sit through the whole movie and just started smsing half way.
on the other hand, the new police story is worth every penny. action packed filled with funny moments. its jackie chan at his best and i enjoyed every min of it. the stunts were incredible and i was kept on the edge of my seat the whole time. it is filled with hongkong hunks too. the swat team looked very good and so did nicholas tse. go and make time for it. you wont regret it..

2004-10-08T11:54:00.000+08:00

finally the exams are over. i just hope everything works out well for me. i certainly wanna pass. really really. oh well, now im just sitting back and relaxing wtih my friends.. im gonna just enjoy myself before the results are released.
just visited fleshimp.com. i so love their tees. gonna get some for myself during the upcoming hols... any sponsorship is very much appreciated.. =)

2004-10-04T19:30:00.000+08:00

did my econs paper today. got killed in mcq and one essay. which leaves me hanging desperately for that pass i need. i just wish i can promote. i really wanna promote. really..

2004-10-01T13:06:00.000+08:00

all these late nights have taken a toll on me. im feeling so tired and think im getting sick. just hope i can last till thurs. cant wait. guess ill just come back and sleep the whole day on thurs. lets see. gonna start planning for my holidays. i wanna go work. can you imagine. ive never ever worked in my whole entire life before. i just wanna earn my first few bucks. dont really care how much. actually i do. oh well.

2004-09-18T23:19:00.000+08:00

the past few days have been crazy for me. didnt sleep last night cause i was up studying and talking to jianchang online. it was good to know that even though im no longer in his class, he still treats me like a friend and still am very close to me up till today. thats very comforting.
redbull's the only thing keeping me alive and kicking right now. been up studying and turning in late. im still awake now thanks to redbulls.
today was pure fun. bitched alot at harbourfront with weiqiang, edric, sean, paul and priscilla. did you know that guys do bitch as well. weiqiang is such a good bitcher. headed back to edrics crib to get some much needed rest. those feeling bored online should go visit talkingcock.com. it cracked us up.
gonna start studying again tmr. and the cycle goes on and on...

vertical horizon - im still here
The cities grow the rivers flow
Where you are I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
And I'm still here

2004-09-12T22:06:00.000+08:00

How Come..
we dont even talk no more
and you dont even call no more
we dont barely keep in touch at all
and I dont even feel the same love
when we hug no more

2004-09-07T01:34:00.000+08:00

everybody's sounding so busy over the net now. oh well. wonder whats up.
my exams are starting in 3 weeks time. im scared. im afraid. im actually peeing in my pants. i just hope i can stay focus and pass this damn exams. screw the holidays. im gonna embrace books like ive never done before. wish me luck.
friendster has been fun. its such a great boredom killer. but ever wondered so what if uve got 300plus friends on your list. how many do you actually keep in contact with? 2? 5? 10? friendster is just entertainment to me. doesnt matter if u have 299 or 2.99 friends. its the number of true friends you have that matters most.

2004-09-05T22:03:00.000+08:00

went to church this morning. it was good. i felt Him speaking to me for the first time in months. i mean, He could have been speaking to me all along. but this morning i heard Him. heard His voice so loudly and clearly. this is not the life i wanna lead anymore. aimless and no where to go. i want to change for a better person in everything that i do, be it in school, bb or whatsoever. i wanna be close to Him. like i used to be.. jeremiah 18:1-11

2004-08-30T22:21:00.000+08:00

i want to have fun.
i want to go out.
i want more money.
i want good grades.
i want new shoes.
i want more sleep.
i want to catch that elusive movie.
i want to hold someone.
i want somebody being there for me.

so many wants, where to start? you tell me..

2004-08-26T22:12:00.000+08:00

my dad is gonna meet the principal tmr cause of my bad results in common tests.
i so hate that feeling.
just hope things turn out good.
cheeer up jiaen.
youve got the weekend to look forward to.
whats up for the weekend?
sat soccer.
sun church/home.
oh great. what a great weekend ahead.
im so looking forward to it.

2004-08-20T23:08:00.000+08:00

the only thing thats keeping me going is the bonds ive created with the younger boys, especially those in sec1. nothing else. the hard work, the effort just dont seem to go appreciated. quarrels are frequent, disagreements plenty. with the stress of my school work, it just makes things worst. whats keeping me going is the new friendships i have. nothing else. NOTHING else.
number 11 unveiled..

2004-08-14T09:51:00.000+08:00

remember the times we were together.
the nights under the stars, the bird park.
who can forget the esplanade?
or the nights in front of the tv just me and you.
six months have passed since you left.
thousand miles away,
dressed to kill. ready to go.
hitting the clubs again and again and again.
stories you tell me.
how you got dipsy
or even wanted to lie on the road.
funny it sounds.
i wished it was different.
it wasnt what i wanted to hear.
wished i was there..
not that i could do anything much
if i was there. right?
counting the days youre back..
soon the wait will be over.
and youre be back here..
meanwhile take care of yourself..
take good care..

2004-08-03T23:06:00.000+08:00

staying in volleyball.. cant commit myself to the soccer trainings anyway. staying in volleyball to try and help them do better. i said ill try. no promises.
i dont have a life now. mon to fri im in school then ill go home after school. its so fucking boring. i cant help it. im usually so tired after school. sats are usually trainings or bb soccer. by the time it ends its 7ish. what the hell. sundays are my study days. i hate my life. someone help me before i go crazy. i cant even remember the last time i hanged out..
we won first for interhouse soccer. feels good. it doesnt matter what others say. we've got the gold and they dont. way to go gomes. just reliased i can play as last man too. jokes.

2004-07-28T18:29:00.000+08:00

just found out today that i dont think i have a high chance of getting into the sa soccer team. very disappointing but i guess im just not as impressive as i should have been. they are just looking to recruit 4 or 5 more players to the current batch of 8 players. sigh. cant make it. damn disappointed. oh well.
i dislike volleyball now. i just dont find them able to give me the sense of satisfaction as they did before. the current batch is nice. but just dont really like volleyball anymore. oh well. i guess i have to come back down to earth and accept the fact that im in volleyball. should be wearing number7 or 8 next year. at least something to look forward to.

2004-07-23T00:46:00.000+08:00

never felt so soccer feverish before. been thinking about the interhouse soccer 24/7 for the past week or more. it feels good being in the semis. hopefully we will do well. perhaps get the gold if possible. oh well. may try to get into the soccer team too. sa soccer team. how good that reward will be for me.
im just focused on interhouse soccer. nothing else matters at the moment. straying away from bb friends. nothing else matters but just interhouse soccer.
im missing that someone.. wishing shes somewhere near.. somewhere i can reach..

2004-07-21T20:38:00.000+08:00

the joy of winning. something that can never be described with words. won romanis1 1-0. created alot of chances but still only managed one goal. thats good enough to send us into the semis. wow. i feel so good, so happy when we won. it beats winning jjc in the volleyball nationals. dont ask me why but it does feel better.
we kinda dominated the game. did well at the centre of defense. me and weiqiang just had this special understanding as our partnership gets better and better. felt damn good. not forgetting mark and cj who helped us alot. they were great to have at the wings. 4 of us kept out the strikers well. woo. cant wait for the next match on friday.
keep going gomes. keep going...

2004-07-20T02:50:00.000+08:00

won venn1 4-0 today. good game. the team played hard and worked for each other. tmr we are up against romanis1. should be an even match. watch out for this space.

2004-07-18T05:48:00.000+08:00

as the day passes, im losing more and more enthusiasm in life. life isnt exactly great for me. i dont agree with some people on what they think or do. im so tired everyday from the days activities. on top of that, i still have to study so damn hard for promos. fuck. still trying to come to terms with my results. sigh...
i feel so alone sometimes. my friends cant accompany cause they are working or they just have to spend time with that special someone. its dumb. its dumb to neglect your friends for your special gal. i mean. i was there for you when your relationship was on the rocks and now its back on, you just dump me aside. wtf. feel pretty hurt by it. but what can i say. everytime i try to bring it up, you say youre working something out. whateverrr.
hang in there jiaen. better times are ahead..

2004-07-17T01:21:00.000+08:00

ever seen a couple and wondered how the hell they are still so loving to each other after so many years together. or ever wondered how your friend could find such a nice girl to be with. ever got envious of your friends who have someone special. been having that recently quite a bit. but i guess ive kinda like lost faith in relationships again. just like how i felt after breaking up with kim in jan 2003. kinda hoping that someone will come and pick me up again. to make me believe in relationships again. someone did exactly just that during the end of last year. im waiting for something magical to happen. but for now, studies come first. ill be so screwed if i fail again this year...

2004-07-14T21:00:00.000+08:00

She Likes Me For Me by blessed union of souls

She don't care about my car
And she don't care about my money
And that's real good
'cause I don't got a lot to spend
But if I did, it wouldn't mean nothin'

She likes me for me
Not because I look like Tyson Beckford
With the charm of Robert Redford
Oozing out my ears
But what she sees
Are my faults and indecisions
My insecure conditions,
And the tears upon the
Pillow that I shed

She don't care about my big screen
Or my collection of DVD's
Things like that just never
Mattered much to her
Plus she don't watch too much T.V.

She don't care that I can fly her
To places she ain't never been
If she really wants to go
I think deep down she knows
That, all she has to say is when

She likes me for me
Not because I hang with Leonardo
Or that guy who played in Fargo
I think his name is Steve
She's the one for me
And I just can't live without her
My arms belong around her
And I'm so glad I found her once again
And I'm so glad I found her once again

Gazing at the ceiling
As we entertain our feelings in the dark
The things that we're afraid of
Are gonna show us what
We're made of in the end

She likes me for me
Not because I sing like Pavarotti
Or because I'm such a hottie
(sigh)
I like her for her
Not because she's phat like Cindy Crawford
She has got so much to offer
Why does she waste all her time with me
There must be something there that I don't see
I don't see

She likes me for me
Not because I'm tough like Dirty Harry
Make her laugh just like Jim Carey
Unlike The Cable Guy
But what she sees
Is that I can't live without her
My arms belong around her
And I'm so glad I found her once again
Yeah, I'm so glad I found her once again

wonder if theres such a good girl around..

2004-07-14T10:29:00.000+08:00

i failed my physics and maths. havent got back econs and gp yet. wtf was i doing. how could i have failed. im facing the papers the second time. i dont know whats wrong with me. fuck trainings. fuck class outings. fuck the late night chill outs. i really gotta get down to serious studying. im peeing in my pants right now. damn fucking scared i cant pass the finals.
been having loads of dreams lately. the one i had last night was the worst so far. i dont know whats happening to me. someone please help me. let me know you care. let me know youre there for me. i feel so helpless, so lost..

2004-07-11T18:35:00.000+08:00

just for laughs, visit ben low's blog. its on my links. it never fails to make me laugh. keep it going ben... im loving it. =)

2004-07-09T22:12:00.000+08:00

5 regrets in my life
* not seeking treatment till 2weeks later when i experienced chest pains in 2001, resulting in my condition worsening.
* not visiting my guardians sister one last time before she passed away in 2002.
* not studying hard in 2003, resulting in me getting retained.
* not stopping adelene when she first told me she might be going australia in 2002, resulting in more than thousand miles between us right now
* losing contact gradually with some close friends such as weiming and kenny.

2004-07-03T21:03:00.000+08:00

just changed the skin.
stayed home the whole day to catch up on my sleep. it was good rest for me. just glad that the exams are over. hope to be able to wake up for church tomorrow. havent been to church for a month or two. parents have been complaining about that.. oh well..

me

2004-07-02T10:40:00.000+08:00

exams are finally over. woo. econs was ok. hopefully i can pass. really wanna pass econs. will be darn disappointed if i dont. dont talk bout maths. physics was tough and i didnt complete the paper due to lack of time. fingers crossed. gonna give myself a two week break from studying to just chill. am so damn tired and worn out from all the studying.. need to catch up on my sleep.
dad got back from hongkong yesterday. good to see him again. safe and sound. off to soccer now. keep a lookout for the new skin which is coming soon... this skin is BORING.

2004-06-25T05:38:00.000+08:00

portugal won england 7-6 on pens. damn it. couldnt stop swearing through out the whole match. england should have won. cant believe it. oh well. my biological clock is so screwed up now. sleeping at 5 and waking up at 12 everyday is a joke. cant focus on my studies. doing about 3-4 hrs everyday only. not enough to make me feel confident about the common tests coming up. damn euro fever. damn england. damn studies. gonna sleep now. nights..

2004-06-05T21:05:00.000+08:00

You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-05-10T23:45:00.000+08:00

itching.. itching to play soccer... itching to play soccer with the bb boys again. damn i really miss soccer. havent been to amc soccer cause im always tired and also i may have to give it up when i start learning driving. mums orders. seems logical anyway. no complains.

2004-04-15T20:53:00.000+08:00

this is the 3rd week of the school term2. 10 more weeks to common tests. start studying now. if not regret later. yes, im getting down to work.

2004-04-11T23:44:00.000+08:00

in the song 'superman' by eminem, theres this phrase that goes 'b****** they come they go'. well, for me, friends they come they go. someone told me that before and guess its happening to me now. feel so foreign with some friends which seemed so close before. but due to our hectic schedules and lack of effort, we hardly meet up now. even if we meet in church or bb, its just different. sometimes i feel bad turning them down when they ask me out, but its true that i already have plans. cant blame me can you? when they dont ask me out and i see whatever happened in their blogs, i feel kinda nostaligic. thinking about the past when i had fun with them just makes me sigh. oh well. i still have friends whom i can confide with, whom i can have fun with. oh well. friends they come they go, dont they?

2004-04-11T20:09:00.000+08:00

we won the match against jjc. it was a great win cause we had to come back from behind to win. they won the first set pretty comfortably and we were 21-24 in the second set when we fought back to win it 26-24. with their morale down, we won the third set. what a win. the saints there were great. they cheered us on. played a bit part in it. was pretty disappointed. but who cares. we won and thats all that matters. we progressed to the second round and are grouped with nyjc, ajc and tjc. most likely we will get raped by them but we are just glad to be in the second group. improved leaps and bounds.
there was bb soccer training yesterday. there were many people. mostly sec2s.. was happy that it was a good start. they can really play soccer. lets hope i can do something good for them. =)

2004-04-07T22:35:00.000+08:00

tomorrow theres a match against jjc. if we win we go on to the next round. it will be a big acheivement as the last year's team didnt even win a single match and here we are, on the verge on going on to the second round. hopefully we win. i really want to win it badly, though i think ill be on the bench. hopefully i can get to play a bit part. just a bit i hope. not asking alot am i? ahh.
bb soccer training gonna start this sat. hopefully nothing screws up. this is the only commitment i have in the bb currently. hope i can do a good job. with joshua tan, weikian and benedict to help me, im sure im able to teach the boys something. they are eager to start the trainings. good sign. keep it going jiaen...

2004-03-31T11:32:00.000+08:00

havent been blogging much. i know but there isnt really anything that i can blog about..
anyway, had my first volleyball nationals match yesterday.. vs rjc. well we lost 2-0. but the ref was really biased, didnt give us 4-5 points. my team was damn angry and stuff. but something that desmond said during the post match team talk made me think alot. he said, 'if we have to rely on such controversial decisions to win, then that shows that we're just not good enough.' well, others of course disagreed with him. but i just sat there thinking that hes actually right. oh well. it was a good fight and its good to see that the team is improving leaps and bounds. goodluck to us for the next match.
another thing on my mind. how can two close friends suddenly become so foreign. how can two people who used to know everything about each other now seems to know nuts about each other. how can two people who used to talk about everything under the sun now cant seem to hold a conversation between them. is it possible? yup! i guess it is. thats what is happening to me now..

2004-03-09T22:34:00.000+08:00

friends come and go. in a couple of days, some classmates of mine now will no longer be. they will be in different schools, different courses or different classes. damn. how i wish i can stay in this class of mine. they are fun. we clique together unlike some class which have so many cliques. true i cant study much with them around but i guess i can easily handle that with better time management. how i wish they will stay in the current PME course. stay in my class. it just sucks because we have all just got to know each other deeper and stronger bonds have been forged. it happened last year in pjc. and now it must happen again. i hate the concept of first three months.

2004-03-08T20:10:00.000+08:00

do i have to cry for you?

2004-03-05T16:32:00.000+08:00

first three months of school coming to an end. i havent been doing very badly in my work. but not exactly well also. gonna sit down and start studying soon. like tonight. sigh. jc is fun.. but stressed at times too. damn. i really wanna do well this year. no way am i gonna waste my fooking year again. it was a mistake. now ive got to move on. and make best out of everything. wish me luck.
another part of my life is bb. i havent been attending bb for ages. this is because i have trainings on saturdays. i would love to be in the company of my friends and the boys again. but its hardly possible. havent seen some of my close friends for 2 weeks or so. damn. i miss them. my life is so packed now. gonna make a decision on my future in bb. soon.

2004-03-03T12:27:00.000+08:00

changed the song for my blog. i have the lyrics. so whoever is interested just ask me. enjoy it.

troubled.

2004-03-03T10:07:00.000+08:00

been feeling troubled lately. somethings bothering me. i cant exactly pinpoint what. but i feel troubled and down. wished that someone would be there for me. been having loads of troubled sleep recently. all those that u would dream and dream throughout your whole sleep. those sleep stuffed with dreams. i hate them. i cant sleep well. and i wake up way too early. damn. someone please help me. get me out of here. i want to feel better. i want to sleep better.

decided

2004-03-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

as you know, i have to make the choice of whether to stay in sa or to go poly during this period of time when people are choosing their courses and colleges to go to. for me, ive more or less came to the conclusion that ill stay in sa. take physics econs maths. ive decided to stay simply because i dont wish to waste a year more of my life going to poly. and also partly cause of my class who is a damn fun bunch of friends. however if i stay in sa, certain sacrifices have to be made. one is definitely my free time has to be used up to study and revise. i need better time management compared to last year. i need to put in more effort though ive learnt all the stuff before. im determined not to slip up again. less chilling outs, less play time. all for trainings, study and revise. nothing much else. goodluck to me.

2004-02-22T23:05:00.000+08:00

i know i havent blog for a while. but seriously theres nothing much in my life to blog.
today was grandpas 72nd birthday dinner. really thank God that i still have 4 grand parents left. thats something that not everyone is fortunate enough to have.none of them has passed away. and everyone is still healthy and living life to the fullest. all are strong christians walking in the light of God. all are healthy except for minor stuff. my dads dad is even working at this age of 72 and still driving cars. something stopped though. and thats his habit of changing cars frequently. oh well. but i really thank God for all these grandparents who have showered me with loads of care and concern and love. thanks grannies!

volleyball.

2004-02-13T23:25:00.000+08:00

things arent going very well for me in volleyball. im not playing well. i admit, im not training as hard as i should. and i know i can do better than this. but argh. somehow i just dont wanna be left out of the starting lineup. though i am not in love with the sport, who likes to be left on the bench. got screwed real bad by patrick during the last training. played with formation for the first time and i kinda messed things up. hopefully things turn out for the better for tomorrow's training. gonna give it my best shot and see how it goes. fingers crossed.

weary.

2004-02-13T00:31:00.000+08:00

im weary and tired of jc life. yeah jc life is great with the friends around and the cca we have. but its just so tiring. everyday you go to school feeling just so tired to even concentrate in class. i had training yesterday and today i was just trying to stay awake during lessons. so much thing left undone too. went totally unprepared for econs QnA. had a maths test too. argh. i think i can pass my maths test. fingers crossed. i was just thinking. its so hard to find a day for me to really rest and just recharge myself. weekends are taken for bb/trainings and amc soccer. rest time during the weekdays is almost impossible when you have three training sessions a week. you're just so tired during the school term that when holidays begin, you could fall asleep for two whole days just to catch up on whatever lost sleep. thats what happened to me anyway. ahh damn.

that fateful day

2004-02-11T20:02:00.000+08:00

that fateful day, met you at about 4plus. saw you in a tanktop and hipster. wow you looked great. you looked so happy in the beginning, doing last min cards for everyone. you didnt have time to really talk to me. dont worry i understand. more people came. i and jereme slid into the background. didnt want to disturb you and your last few precious moments with your friends. time flew. its time for you to go. you looked at me crying. before giving me one last hug. you looked so sad. wished i could tell you something else than 'take care alright?'. i didnt want to let go. we parted. and you were crying. damn i wished i could do something. the time came and you had to go in. i looked at you. so much stuff unsaid. but its too late. saw you and amelia went in. damn my heart ached. i wished time hasnt passed so quickly. i wished i could spend more time with you. bringing you to the night safari, musical fountains and the underwater world like ive promised. went to the viewing gallery to see your plane. my mind was filled with all the memories we had. i felt so lost. wished you wouldnt have to leave. your plane took off at around 915pm. my heart ached even more as i watched your plane lifted off. but theres nothing i could do. you just had to go. and my heart ached. i miss you so.